According to statistics, about 62% of fathers do not give the same attention to children and admit that they love one of their children more than another or others. However, according to psychologists, it is one of the most serious psychological mistakes that fathers can make from their children. At the same time, they traumatize children who grow up with the psychology of “rejected” or favorites. Favorite children are often more selfish and emotionally unstable, they are less ready for independent life and more often expect general worship from others. Thus raising a child should be given equal attention.
It is clear that it is always more convenient to love the obedient, calm and polite, well, or just a talented child! These can be proud of. And it happens that parents give preference to a child of a certain gender (“I always wanted a boy”). These children receive more praise, gifts, they feel sorry for them, protect them from difficult domestic chores, allow them to be capricious and manipulate others. But if there are pets, then necessarily there will be rogue children. They are easy to recognize. They are emotional, restless, impressionable, and often go on the offensive, defending their point of view. Being even in a neutral environment, they very sharply feel the unjust attitude of others.
Resentment, anger, a sense of loneliness, misunderstanding, and most importantly, dislike for sister sisters-pets and the desire to enter into conflict with them are often accompanied by “outsiders” throughout not only all childhood, but also adult life. Meanwhile, the father-dependent child very quickly forms a consumer attitude towards parents who have spoiled him, and he himself will not be able to learn to set goals independently and overcome life’s difficulties.
It may seem that such a special position in society makes life easier for an addicted child and father-child relationship and makes them more pleasant. However, it is not. Unsatisfied or excessive praise or evaluation of the father distorts the real notions of the child’s capabilities. The kid overestimates self-esteem and reacts very sharply in situations of failure that arise in everyone’s life. He’s just not ready for a loss! Another problem that easily follows from the previous one – a small favorite has to overestimate the demands to one to avoid mistakes, and not to face the classmates in the dirt, so he is constantly in a stressful situation. Such a child, as a rule, feels a malevolent attitude of peers loses friends and, therefore, often closes in him.
From this it is necessary to draw a conclusion that nevertheless the main reason for the appearance of pets is more in adults. It is the father, unreasonably finding fault with one and elevating other children, creates an emotionally tense situation.